Pizza, Boo-Boos, and Poo…

I have been outlining some topics to write about next, but I realized they are sad and I don’t feel like that is a good introduction.  While, just like in real life, we have to deal with the sad eventually, I would rather start this journey off on a positive note.

That being said, let’s talk about the first time we had the brilliant idea of changing a toddler’s poopy diaper in her crib.

Or when we were busy doing the dishes so we give the child a breadstick so she will leave you alone for two seconds.  Only to, days later, find it shoved behind the bookshelf after a two-hour-long search for ‘that smell’.

I have to laugh.  Mostly at myself.  I made a mistake, OK, I get it.  But it is pretty funny.  How do they think of these things?  Who just abandons a breadstick?!  I’d abandon it in my belly.

Most diaper changes are somewhat drama free.  Until there is a really weird colored, bad smelling, huge deuce.  She flails, kicks and her foot ends up in half of the poo so I try and wipe her AND keep her foot from touching anything else until I can clean it.  Then, I just decided to wash her, take her out for fro-yo, and burn the house down.

Le sigh

But we all know that is not an option.  I clean the baby, change her clothes, wash the sheets and blanket.  Then take out the diaper pale bag because the entire house smells like shit now.

This was just supposed to take two minutes!!!!!!  Oh fuck…with all of that, I forgot I was cooking chicken.  And I am sorry, but I am NOT going to pay a $7.95 delivery fee!  So, here we are, clean baby and I sitting in the rocking chair, eating instant oatmeal and a blueberry muffin for dinner.  She is smiling up at me, that’s all that matters.  I sigh and kiss her forehead.  It’s all soooooo worth it.

Is this shit on my shirt, or blueberry…?

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Next day, I have to wash the pan that I burned chicken in and two bottles, one with spoiled milk and one that I remembered to rinse out.  That’s it.  Will take me two seconds.  Normally.

Today is one of those days she is really clingy and lovey.  I normally worship these days, just not for the moment I need to get chores done.  So…I ordered pizza a few days back and decide to give her a breadstick.  For five minutes she will love that breadstick more than me.  I get the dishes done and go back to play with her.

Later, I keep smelling this pizza and garlic that I had thrown out a long time ago.  I ignore it at first, maybe I just farted pizza.

The smell is really bothering me, I can smell it every time I am in the living room.  I decide to do some investigating.  I find her brush underneath the couch, a block behind her pack-n-play, a few dog toys behind my chair.  Nothing that would cause this smell.

Then, there it is.  A garlicky, buttery, messy breadstick shoved behind the bookshelf.  Ok, it’s not moldy yet, quick clean-up.

I move the bookshelf slightly so I can wash the wall.  Every. Damn. Book. Fell.  Came crashing down and scared the farts out of my tiny dog.  Well, this might just be a good time to dust the shelf off, I suppose.  I wash the wall, dust the books and shelf.  Cleaned up the breadstick-astrophy.  Done!  That wasn’t so bad.

Until I went to put the bookshelf back and scraped my right, big toe.  MOTHER ******!!!!!!

Ok.  Blood.  I have to clean up blood now.  What next?  Unicorn glitter?!

No judgement, but I left the blood and went to take a nap.  No worries, my daughter was with her father for the week.

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I chatted with my daughter later via video chat, and, once again, knew it was all worth it.  She gives me a lot of things to laugh about.  And a lot of reasons to buy Band-Aids…for myself.


It’s OK, I have arrived.

I have been wanting to and talking about starting a blog for the last several months.  I have had one before, but then I had a baby.  My entire life changed forever, but for the better now that this little angel is in my life.

I want to start by sort of introducing myself.  I am a mom.  And that’s about all that I know about myself at the moment.  A lot has changed in my life and there has been a lot of drama!  Family drama, ex-boyfriend drama, ex-fuck boy drama, family pet drama, Netflix drama…you name it and it has happened.

I have a lot to write about and I hope to maybe let other moms (or dads) out there know that they are not alone.  While our lives may be different and our experiences may vary, one thing is consistent – the love for our little ones.  I hope this will be a place where we can share, laugh, cry, eat, and support.

I have had a few tragedies happen to me in my life, not unlike you, and I find that sharing them and carrying on helps me keep the memory and remain positive.  Daily, I also have stresses to deal with regarding my job, family, trying to be a good mommy.  And drinking helps that.  😉  Or writing and hugging my little girl.  There is not much I do anymore that is just for myself.  I have been craving an Auntie Anne’s pretzel for weeks and just can’t bring myself to drive all the way (15 minutes) to the mall just for a pretzel.  But if it was something my angel needed I’d be there already.  I am getting the feeling a lot of parents are like that.

Not my parents though.  My mom would go missing for days, drinking and drugging with “friends”.  My father did not meet me until I was six years old and after that never signed one birthday card for me.  I want to be the best I can for my little one and ensure her that I am never EVER going anywhere.  I will be the supportive, caring, strong parent that I always wanted.

Even after the way I was brought up, I love my parents and forgive them.  I love others and trust until I am shown otherwise.  I offer my ears and a shoulder no matter what; even though that usually bites me in the ass, I do it over and over and over because I have faith in humanity.  I hope this love is something I can instill in my daughter.  Love.  Forgiveness.  Trust.  Happiness.

At the same time, I am very strong and the extreme opposite of naive. I am quick to cut someone out of my life if they are unhealthy for me and I am sure that is a survival skill from my childhood.  Some of the strength is something I hope to pass on to my little girl. So, basically, I want her to be perfect like me.  😉  I have a feeling she will be everything and more.

I am looking forward to sharing more in-depth stories, writing as I watch my daughter grow and learn everyday, and possibly get to know some parents (human, cat, dog, ferret, or otherwise).  Thanks for reading and I will be back soon!